How I See Me…Through You

One of the biggest challenges — and opportunities — in creating a new life for yourself in the wake of a major change is accepting the reality of how the former folks viewed you. And acknowledging how much that view mattered to you and how deeply it impacted how you showed up (or didn’t) for yourself. Whether or not it was an accurate view was rarely considered because the voices were so strident and persistent that they must be right…right?

As the unfurling continues for me in my own life, I’m considering this phenomenon and how it impacted me. I see more today how my view of myself needs to be primary — and if that means people and situations have to go, they must. No matter how wrong it feels because you’ve adapted and habituated to their presence and influence in your life (see strident voices above), or how uncertain you feel about having that wide, gaping hole in your emotional life. The seeds of self-trust are sown in this new space, and we must hold it as the sacred place and time that it is.

And, because we are human beings, the view others have of us is important, whether we want it to be or not. We want to be seen, we want attention, we want to be loved for who we are, with all of the mountain tops and valleys that come along with our true Selves. I’m learning to be more curious and not shut down as swiftly as I used to the shadowy bits of myself. To see them as…